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Friday, October 22, 2010

Its Hard and Its Hurts!

this was a very tough for me! i'm tired to be a puppet! i can't even make a decision for myself! i don't know what to do! i don't have any idea! aku hanya sorang! korang amek la parang ke kapak ke meh belah aku, pastu amek sorang satu bahagian! i'm tired to face all these thing! aku da tak tau cam mane nak penuhi semua kehendak orang lain! aku kalau boleh nak je semua orang happy pastu tunaikan dan buat je ape semua orang yang aku sayang nak aku buat dan nak aku jadi! tapi aku sendiri tak mampu!

sedangkan aku sendiri terkedu, terkaku untuk buat keputusan untuk diri sendiri! its like i'm a looser when there is such a great opportunity for me and its all about my future, then there is a lot of obstacles that i don't know how to overcome it! then i feel like shouting "crap!"... 

"are you goin to grounded me here?"

hell yeah! i hate myself! i hate to be what i am! i hate myself because i'm useless! totally useless! i can't make my own decision yet i can't do nothing!

he said 'go for it!'

the other said 'don't do if u cannot do it!'

and she turned to 'on' and 'off'! shoot!

and finally i need to shut my mouth up! be the stupidest ever! i can't even decide for my future! OMG! its already passed 2 years! and i still got nothing in my life! and the biggest thing...


damn it! LOOSER!

seriously aku buntu dan serba salah....if i didn't go for this one, that one didn't promise anything yet! but if i'm waiting for that, tak pasti lagi aku boleh dapat! but if i wanna grab this opportunity, there is alot of obstacles and i really need 'those people' to help me out! but those people tak nak sacrife for me! ya Allah! macam mana nie???? 

'those people' je yang aku boleh minta tolong because of 'responsibilites'... yeah! their responsibilities...i can't never and ever berharap dari orang lain except from 'those people'.....unluckily...they never understand me! :'(

nak cakap tentang obstacles itu terlalu lah banyaknya....dan sangat menyakitkan hati aku! da tak reti cam mane nak express apa yang aku rasa right now! ape la naseb aku nie! *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

x    o    x    o

---> i wanna go to work <------
---> i need a job <------
----> i really need 'your' help <----
----> please do understand me <------
----> i'm tired and hurts! <-----

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